Marriage and the Military
August 8, 2007

Ok, I am going to vent a little to the younger ladies out there and put in my 2 cents. I am usually not so opinionated, but I have just heard/seen of several situations that have prompted this. Please do not be offended, but what I am saying is true. The bad part is that children are brought into these situations. I also know that this does not speak to every 19 yr old that marries. I am speaking in very general terms about the young couples I have seen both on the internet and that I know in person. Why do you (young girls) marry young boys (18-22), that you BARELY know (sometimes for days or months), and move hundreds of mile away to another state (or sometimes country) and an unfamiliar way of life and then are suprised when it isn't all a bed of roses! I write this not to criticize, but it is a story I have seen far too much. Young soldier, marries a girl...barley out of high school. Niether of you know how to be an adult, you don't even know who you are as a person yet. Then you get married and think it is going to be great, but the minute there is a deployment and you are separated for more than a week and can't be attached by a cell phone every minute of the day and realize that it isn't easy to support a family on E-2 pay, you get frustrated or your dh gets frustrated.

Ladies, don't be in such a hurry to get married, especially if it is just because he is going off into the army or deploying....statistically speaking...IT DOESN'T work! I realize some beat the statistics, I am one of them, but don't chance it. If it is REAL love, you'll be there for him through the long distance relationship. Discuss how money and management of the household will be handled in his absence BEFORE you say I do. It is inevitable he will be gone, whether to war, school, or training. Know the answers ahead of time and consider waiting til he is done with his first tour. Many guys go in with one idea about the military as a career and after their first tour, they change their minds. It is a way of life you want to be sure is right for you.

Anyway, sorry for ranting! I am just truely sad about the number of marriages I see ending, before they even get started. I know the divorce rate for the older folks in the military isn't that great either, but that is another story and those usually end for different reasons.