So Sick And Tired
June 27, 2007

So, I am not exactly sure what it is... but I know that I am sick of it. I am so sick and tired of not being able to have a normal phone call at a normal time.. if it honestly really that hard to ask (well, obviously it is). I would love to have a phone call that didnt involve the words coming home, or mission, or extension... and having that phone call taking place at three o clock in the afternoon instead of three o clock in the morning. I am so sick of staying up til four in the morning (like today) staying signed onto the instant messenger hopng for an im letting me know he is okay. I am absolutely fed up with not being able to sleep at night for fear of not hearing my phone ring... and breaking down into a mess of tears when i do see a missed call from him. I am sick of defending myself to people; most of the time complete strangers who question my act of being faithful, or telling me to get over it when I say I miss my soldier. I am sick of people looking at the bumper stickers on my car and making remarks like "oh thats some relationship" and what not like that. I am sick of hearing about gun shots, and about snipers and missions and what was bombed at today. I just really miss being normal :0( I hate not being able to plan my christmas vacation because i dont know when exactly he is going to get back to the states.. I am just sooooo sick of it. I hate when he keep secrets from me about what hes doing because he doesnt want me to worry... I just... GOSH... I am just so sick and tired of it :0( I am sick of crying everytime I hear Keep Holding On, Or Come home soon.. or any other random "soldier song" thats played on the radio...

But, as much as I hate it.. I am not mad at my soldier... so please dont think that at all.. I guess I am just aggrivated with the situation... because trust me... "loving a soldier is not easy, but I wouldnt have it any other way"...