August 21, 2008

ROTC here I come! I finally met with the people I needed to. First PT test..0800 tomorrow morning. Hope I can do this. Get my uniform issued to me soon so itll be offical :-)
My love got the package I sent last week. Thank god. Its exciting that he got it. Next package Im sending I asked if he could take pictures with a wind camera for me...he agreed to so Im excited!!! yay itll be interesting to see what he goes through and who he's been hanging out with. I think it will be a big learning experiance for me to go with the ROTC. Told my boy today when we talked about it..was def not happy at all. He doesnt like the thought of it..but I do have to live my own life with him in thought but live it myself.



Thank you god for letting things lay right
-kenz

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August 14, 2008

Hmm..So I talked to the boy the other morning really early...like 2am. It was lovely. Ive missed waking up super early just to talk to him. It was fun. haha. Um Well I asked him if I could send over a wind camera so he can take pictures of whatever and send it back so I can get the pictures printed. He agreed to do that for me so im really excited to send this next package. The lady at the PO was super cute when I went in to pick up the flatrate box. Asking me how he was and all the normal questions I get out of her every time. yay! The last package Im not sure if it got there yet but Ill be sending the next one in like 3 weeks. WHOO.


Keep your heads up..Youre always a day closer to something to live for. Promise :-)

-kenz

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Really now?!
August 8, 2008

Sent out another package yesterday. Just of useful stuff, nothing too exciting and mind blowing. College starts in 2 weeks...I have yet to sign up for classes. Right now Im thinking of taking this semester off and figuring out my own shit getting a job as my dad keeps pushing and probably doing ROTC through the college here. OHHH but to top everything off to make matters worse...when I get a job and now that Im tech. in college and considering ROTC..I still have to pay fucking rent to live at my own goddamn house. It pisses me off. Im 18 living at home going to college..soon to have a job...AND NO LIFE! I dont get where my parents heads are right now. I really just want to bash them together and run as far away as I can get. My mom today since I broke the news that Ill be taking this sem. off flipped a lid. She knows nothing about ROTC thought it was the stupidest idea I have ever thought and hates that its with the army. The first question out of her mouth "so when are you getting deployed so I can plan this shit out already". Really right now...is this really how things are going to be for the rest of my god for saken life?! Paying rent is one thing and college can be added to that but being deployed through rotc...funny shit huh. Yeah well my question for the people out there serving..Whats your thought on ROTC?! Should I consider it? And what do you know about it so I can have a bit of an insight?! Thanks youre all amazing

keep your heads up youre always a day closer to something amazing.
-kenz

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August 3, 2008

Back in town for a while I believe. Its been good to be out of town but I've learned to respect the place I live. I didn't miss it but I did at at the same time. Well lately I've kind of started thinking about my future wedding to my future husband..which i don't know yet.. ahaha. No I'm not engaged but it's wishful thinking. I want to get married so bad so I can be his wife and do the job I know I have to do. It's scary to think like that at this age but its true. I love him to death and would do ANYTHING for him. This week since I'm finally home I'll be sending out a suprise package. Water bottle with drink mixer things, fruitsnacks/fruit rollups, kisses, beef jerky...and some other stuff. Its small but will have meaning as usual. Um..I've been roughing it out in the woods lately. That is the one good thing I love about this state..you can drive maybe a few hours and get to somewhere you can rough it. I love sitting in the woods at night listening to the sounds of the outdoors. Lovely lovely sounds that freak you out in the middle of the night. I dig it.

I have 4 months left of this damn deployment. IM SO PUMPED..YOU HAVE NO IDEA!!!! Ohhhh buddyyyy!! I was watching the news the other night and from what I understand they changed deployment length from 15 months to 12!! That is so exciting to me. Its small but SUPER exciting.

Hope youre all doing well.

Keep your head up your always a day closer to something to live for.
-kenz (whoo Ive been doing a happy dance since I woke up this morning)

Gah...alright heres how my day went..and why Im so happy. My lover woke me up, I drove to down town to work for a few hours..was driving past the reserve centre and saw the guys coming out of the place and was driving through town and had a bunch of guys in the army driving next to me all smilie and shit. It was cute! I enjoyed it. haha Oh my life is lovely and Im ready for the next 4 months to go fast :-D

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July 20, 2008

Alright hi everyone...Im in a better mood for once. Whoo!! The other day last week I had an old vet come up to me telling me how awesome it is that I wear the hats that the army wears and how proud he was to see that Im in the military. I felt bad breaking the news to him telling him the hat was my friends and the tags were my boyfriends. He still had that cute smile on his face and told me that he was proud to see that I support them no matter what even from the home front. To know that this guy was once in the army and is still proud to tell it makes me smile and want to thank every soldier I ever meet. I was heading to my cottage and my parents and I stopped to get some food, saw 2 guys from the Air Force in theier BDU's, made me smile and I said thanks for doing everything. They looked at me wierd but were happy to know that I was thankful for what they do. So that was my little happy moment for the weekend.
I got my nose pierced right before I left to go up north. I must tell you i swear to god I have high pain tolerance. This tattoo artest at the place I go was bitching about how this guy was all tearyeyed that he got a tattoo on his ribs cause it hurt so bad. I have a tattoo on my ribs and I told the guy it was nothing and didnt hurt. He was in shock that I didnt think it hurt so I showed him. He looked at me and told me that most guys/girls cant deal with the pain on the ribs becasue its bones and a thin layer of skin. WELL IT DOESNT HURT!!!! so booya :-) Hope you all had a lovely weekend

Keep your heads up. youre a day closer to something amazing. Promsie
-kenz
PS I talked to my boy this weekend. OH MAN!!!! 4 months and counting. So excited.It seams forever away but seriously its nothing. My aunt doesnt think we will last but Im telling you right now IN YOUR FACE BEOTCH it will last.

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July 15, 2008

Ive come to the point where I start questioning my thought behind loving a soldier. I know I've done this before but right now its starting to really drive me a little crazy. This damn deployment always makes me question my love. DAMN YOU UNCLE SAM. Erg. Going days on end without talking is nothing new but seriously right now after a fight and then having him have to go do his shit while I wait to work this out. No not cool. I know things will be ok I really do its just starting to annoy me. Deployments suck huge nuts and Im trying I really am just now and again I question this side of me. I love my soldier but I hate this. No news is good news ERG. I miss him..I want him..I want to be able to wake up in the morning and not have to just lay there asking myself if Im in the mood to even get up and do my own thing. screw this whole mess. I can make it....only a few more months. DAMN IT more like 4 months now that I think about it. Im so mad right now. I want to be happy to wake up knowing nothings going to happen...guess that gives me 4 months to wait.


Keep your head up..promise things will look up someday soon (Yes I know I should take my own advice on this part..which I am but its takign a while)
-kenz

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Oh my!!!
July 11, 2008

Hey guys
Just got back from California ultra late last night. I love it out there..way different world out there. Everything is going well though. Im planning on moving out there hopefuly with in the next year or so.
Things are going pretty awesome still with the fellow. I dig it and miss him like crazy. Things are rough thanks to the SHITTY distance thing but Im damn proud of him. Thats what you get for being with the Military.
While I was out in Cali I went out on post with one of my friends out there. Hes in the Army as well so I got to just chill out while he did what he has to. YESSS I love knowing people in the military.

haha

Keep your heads up guys. Youre a day closer to something amazing. Promise
-kenz

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June 30, 2008

Hey guys
Sorry Ive been way busy lately. Things are going alright. Had a death in the family about 2 weeks ago now and was in Tennessee last week. Off to Cali tomorrow for about 2 weeks to see my bestfriend. Its been crazy busy lately. Im ready to just sit down for a bit but I sadly know that wont happen. Hows everyone else doing?! Umm things here are pretty good..still with the same guy..blablabla. Hope alls well in the world

PS I sent out a package the friday before I left for Tennessee and it offically got to Iraq in 1 week. I was ultra happy. WHOO PO. and the ladies at the PO know me by name still and ask how he is doing..its silly but I get a kick out of it

Youre always a day closer to something good. Promise
-kenz

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Hmph
June 16, 2008

Once again its almost 3am and Im still awake. I sadly have to work in the morning and dont know how Im going to do it. Damn you real world damn you!! I guess this is part of being an adult now isnt it? Screw that. Well hmm Had my open house this weekend. My cousin thats in her mid 20s looked at the picture of my boy and I and told me we were going to be getting married. I was smiled and wanted to agree but who knows what the future has instore for both of us. I sure as hell dont. Actually I was just talking to him and told him about it. He giggled and said "yeah who knows about the future right?" Well lately the future hasnt been super bright like I would like it but its part of life. My cousin died today actually. It sucks. She was like 60 something and had lung cancer. Not a pleasent way of going out but its part of life. You live and learn all at the same time. Make mistakes and keep on truckin through. She was a crazy old lady, always use to tell me that I cant join the Army and how life was going to come up with something better for me insted of joining. I never got the chance to tell her what Ill be doing next year and Im not so happy about that but she knows. I know she does. We were at her husbands house (my cousin still) sitting around talking trying to keep our minds off the whole mess, on my way home I turned the radio on, the damn beach boys started playing. Her son was the one I got the tattoo for and he loved the beach boys. Whenever I have a rough day I usually put my ipod on random and the beach boys always some how play and Id like to think its him telling me everything will be alright. It was so wierd to randomly have them playing and have this whole mess go down. Well god bless you Trudy youre amazing and God is sure lucky to have another angel with him. Andy you too man RIP. I miss you both a great deal

On the good side of things..umm I signed up for college last thursday. I called my mom right after and told her I should have signed my goddamn papers and be leaving for basic already. She wasnt too thrilled with that one to say the least. But its wierd to think of myself as now a college student. I will be there to help soldiers! Hell yeah man hell yeah. My life is finally getting started. hello world are you ready for me yet? You better be cause Im ready to take you on and go for a joy ride.
Rock on folks
Keep your heads up. We are all one day closer to something to live for
-kenz
PS Deployment..GO BLOW YOURSELF

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June 10, 2008

Today I was talking to the man finally and again. I was saying that having him in my life has changed me as a person. This deployment has changed the way I view things and how thankful I am to have him in my life. I told him about how I wouldnt be the same person without him no matter what, even before he left he changed me and I was thankful. I also told him about how my parents on graduation day thought I should take off his dogtags so itd look classy but I refuse to take them off for anyone or anything. He laughed and told me I was a rebel for that one. As of right now Ive been thinking that I am a bit of a rebel for not willing to take them off but because they mean so much even though they are just a small hunk of metal around my neck they still mean more to me than I ever thought. He means more to me than I ever though. My parents finally just let it go when I wouldnt say a word to them after being asked to take it off. For some reason he has changed me to become a better person in this world. I am a better person for one person and I have not enough words to thank him. Is this really what it feels like to love a soldier? To love someone so far away but they feel so close because of one small thing? Why do we, the soldiers love get put through something, to test how much we love our men/women? Ive always been an army brat but I never knew I could love someone that was in doing what my father once did. Life just hands you the keys to the car and you go where the road leads you I guess. I think that having too many friends and him deployed has tested me through life in a short period of time. Its been a rocky road but we will all make it through. This deployment sucks but I know Im not alone out there.

Thank you everyone who is out there doing something amazing for this country. I know its not easy but I thank you from the bottem of my heart. You guys and girls out there doing right for this country and have my thoughts always. Thank you

Keep your heads up, your always a day closer to something to live for.
-kenz
PS Ive sadly become addicted to Army wives.

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Graduation day
June 2, 2008

Finally a graduate of my shitty school that I will miss a great deal. Today was graduation and Ill be honest it doesnt feel any different but I have started looking at the world in a different way. Kind of like with new eyes but still the same me. It feels good to be done but it hasnt really hit me yet. I would like to think it will happen soon but I wont like I dont believe it. Next year I will NOT be going to Kansas for school. Dont feel like moving away just yet. Still enjoying my time in this shithole of a town. Ill be attending the little college here that will help get my head in line and get me started in Psychology. Score. After like 2 years there Ill be def. moving down south. Thank god. Get me away but keep me here.
Congrats to the graduating class of 08. I wish you all luck
Keep your head up folks..its a day closer to what you want in life. Promise
-kenz

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May 26, 2008

So memorial day weekend..hmm not too much knows what that means in my age group to be honest with ya. I wish more did but no. They say they do but seriously I bet not that many do. I would just like to thank all the men and women fighting for this country. If it wasnt for you guys I dont think this country would be as it is and free as we are today. Good work guys. I owe you a great deal of thanks. To all the vets out there that faught back in the day.. THANK YOU!


Hmm not too much is new with me I guess. Graduation next weekend (finally) and then who knows. Thinking about moving to Kansas for school. Yes wayyyy in the hell away from here I know but shit they have military bases down there that I could start working at. Whoopwhoop. Thatd be tight as hell. I am ready to figure out my life. Dont get me wrong I still want my military fix but I dont think thats going to happen right away anymore..sadly.
UGH
Have a killer week folks and keep your head up. Youre only a day closer to being closer to waht you need and want. Keep your head up and your sholders back. It will pay off in the end promise. It has a bit with me so far
-kenz

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Erg
May 19, 2008

Dear Deployment-
I HATE YOU WITH MY ENTIRE LIFE!! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU! 18 Days come and now gone becasue you had to take him back. Its not fair. Now I have another 8 months till hes home for good. You piece of shit. You better treat him right or I will go crazy.
Love always
-pisses of girlfriend-kenz


Ok so R&R is now over. Has been since Saturday. It wasnt easly going that whole time with only seeing him a few times. I wish I could say I spent the whole time with him but I didnt. His family lives 3 hours away from where I live so its been tough. I wish it was easy to say this relationship was easy but hell no HELL NO. I love him to death and would do anything its just been tough. We will make it through I know we will. I loved R&R but having that last kiss and saying goodbye wasnt easy.

Hope you guys are doing well and staying strong.

-kenz

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Ive Got It!!!
May 7, 2008

So Ive basically figured out what Im going to do. Grauation is in 14 days!! (Not including weekends). I've said I was going to join right after highschool but now Ive come to a closing. Killing 2 birds with 1 stone... get ready for it.. Im going to college but Ill be going into something AMAZING. Psychology but get this. I want to go to school to help out the vets that have come back from war that are dealing with PTSD. Over the summer Im going to try and get intouch with some people I know at a few bases and see if I can maybe stay there for a bit and work with some vets. Take in what they've gone through but also be there becasue Im good with listening and usually there to help. I think it will help me chill out about the Army. My babes home PS if you havent caught that. My lovely father informed him about me joining. He told me straigh "If I have anything to do with it you wont join. Promise me you wont do that to me." Its hard having someone you love tell you that. But I was waching the news lastnight and they were saying something about how vets are becoming more and more suicidal and what not. Came to me like that. The smallest thing set it up and now I have a plan. I know not the army right away but it has something to do with the army. IE killing 2 birds with one stone :College as well as working with vets that are home. It seriously feels like a weight has been lifted off my sholders. I can fully dig that. Whoopwhoop. Thank you evening news for being there when I didnt know what I was doing.

Hope all is well with everyone. and I hope some sort of weight has been lifted of your sholder as well.
-kenz

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R&R
May 1, 2008

Hell yeah its finally here. Im SO happy. Spend the ending half of the day and then a full day with him TODAY!! It was awesome. Not going to lie. After waiting for a year to kiss him its the best thing ever seriously! I dont think I could ever be this happy but screw that Im flipping hella happy. whoop whoop. hope all is well for everyone out there.
-kenz

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The Final Day
April 28, 2008

So my best friend might be home. I dont really know yet haha. Its 12am..he was supose to be home today but I have yet to talk to him. I have no idea how long the flight from Kuwait to Mi. is but Im going to take a guess and say its a hike. Awesome..NOT. He actually messaged me Saturday but I didnt get it because my phone didnt tell me he did. SOO that brings me to the point of the unknown. Its rather annoying not knowing to be honest I hate it. My father made a deal with me about school and if I get to every class and pass the 2 tests I needed to graduate he'd let me take a day or 2 off to spend time with my boy. Im happy.. I got them done and passed and now its the waiting game to find out about him being home.
Friday I sat down with my father actually to figure stuff out at dinner. We were talking about me joining and some other shit thats pointless for you all to read. He basically told me its up to me and how I want to go at it with life. He also said give a huge thought about going into the reserves. Which I have no problem with. I could kill 2 birds with one stone..Be in the Army but also be at home and in colllege like they wish for me to do. I want to go to basic and AIT. All that exciting crap. I dont feel like doing ROTC. Has nothign interesting to me. I dont like sitting still actually I really dont know how to sit still but Im willig to learn. Hhaha maybe. UGH

Dear deployment
I hate you. I want you done. I want my boy home and I want to blow you to pieces. You let anything happen to him I will take you out and shoot you myself. ERG. I get into crazy mood swings because of you. You fuck everything up.
Love always
-kenz
PS I really fucking hate you with my entire heart :-)

Have a killer week everyone

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1 week left
April 19, 2008

Ahhh 1 week exactly from today! That means 7 days..holy crap! I cant flipping wait. Been so busy the time is flying...feels like just yesterday I was saying 19 days..nono..now 7. haha Been running like whow but since its getting a ton warmer it means Ill be out and about again. I quit watching the news lately. Yes random sorry I know. This whole pres. crap is getting old hearing the same BS all the time. Obama going after Hil. and Hil going back after Obama. I do get a kick out of the fact that McCain is just chilling back and keeping his cool. Whatever man let em do their thing. In my Econ class thats basically all we talk about anymore..and for some reason the teacher brought up the whole military thing in Iraq. I about flipped a switch on him. He was saying shit teachers shouldnt about the war. And mind you I was the only one that got really defensive probably becasue Im the only one that really cares in that class. Its a good class just the teacher needs to watch his shit before I smack him. Its 3 am...I could go for a run right now and have no problem..whoo. Have a great weekend guys. Hope youre all well.

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R&R's almost here
April 13, 2008

Wee!! Got a little over 2 weeks until he comes home. I seriously cant wait. It feels like the longest time of my life but oh my god its coming so fast now. I never thought Id get nervous over seeing him but hell no Im freaking out every day trying to figure how things are going to go when hes home..haha yeah right Im not staying chill with this one.
Hows everyone doing out there?! Anything exciting happening?!
I graduate in about a month and a half. yay finally but oh man. 13 years at one school and finally leaving..thats crazyness
Be good and stay strong

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17 dayssssss
April 3, 2008

It's 1am...Ive got 17 days till my boy comes home for R&R! So ready to finally have the one hug Im in need of.
Hope you guys are all doing well and youre loved ones are safe.
-kenz
PS Went and saw Stop Loss lastnight..probably the funniest thing to see when I first walked in were 2 guys in ACU's. There was maybe about 60 of us in the movie room thing. The 3 of us were laughing at the stupid shit we knows about the military. It was sad but yet the funniest thing at the time. When we were walking out I saw like 5 or 6 girls balling. Fucking crying..I wanted to tell em to man up but I was being nice for a day. haha dumb bitches is all I must say

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March 30, 2008

Hello again. Been a while. Sent out another package yesterday to my boy. Its funny going into the PO. They know me by name and they always ask "so how is he doing as far as it goes over there?" Its wierd because the guy I usually deal with on sending out my boxes told me to keep him updated every time Im in. But I guess once you start going in there as much as I have been lately they start to know you.
On other news it snowed here again last week while it was 115 in Iraq. How nutso is that?? I cant deal with the snow. Its spring not winter.
hmm other than that boring news I do have a question that someone should really answer. Does the Army still have the 2 year contract?? I know they use to during Vietnam and they did when my boy signed but I dont know if they do anymore. My dad says no and D says its a pussy time but I must say that signing for 4 right now just seams like a lot. I want to join but 4 is a lot ya know what I mean??

Hope everyone out there is doing grand and their loved ones are safe.
-kenz
PS So Ive decided that I hate not hearing from someone you care about in 2 days. Ive gone a month without talking to him thanks to JRTC but nono its so different having him in Iraq..LAMEEEEE

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Update and better sort of
March 15, 2008

So since the last post things have been ok. My boy finally got his carepackage. Mind you it only took 1 week to get to him. I was rather suprised wtih that one. I flipped out on him because the distance thing is starting to hit me and now things are ok. It was mid 50's today here. Went for a much needed run and am really happy with that. Back to training before any thing.
I got the offer to start training with my friend thats a recruter thats with the Marines. I thought about going but at the same time I was thinking maybe I shouldnt. He really wants me to join through him but I dont know really how I feel about joining the Marines. Have no problem with them..hes a cool guy and we are friends but I dont know. I guess Ill have to keep training myself and kicking myself to do the best I can be. Get in the best phisical shape I can be.
Hope all of you are doing well
And thanks for the support (you know who you are). Youve been a great deal of help and I am thankful.
-kenz

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March 12, 2008

People someone tell me that Im not alone on getting really emotional when you mess something for your man? Please tell me seriously. I did tonight and I feel like total shit. This is the first Ive cried so hard since the day he left. It kills me knowing I could be talking to him but no Im NOT!! FUCK

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Where is life taking me?
March 2, 2008

Got a letter in the mail about 2 days ago from my school saying we have to "job shaddow." This is the first year my school has ever had this happen and I think its very uncalled for and yet I know where they are coming from. When we graduate from school a great deal of us have no idea what we are doing with our lives and where we are going. I can be greatful that they are basically telling us "hey get your head out of your ass and figure it out before you waste your money on taking pointless classes and usless shit you dont need." I heard rumor of this whole "job shaddow" shit in the start of the year so once we got the paper it didnt come as a great big shock. Thankfully my boss loves me and told me I could come in and pick up about 8 extra hours to my shift. Cool as hell and I think Im going to do it. But before the paper came out I was talking to my father about how I should shaddow my recruter or the Marines recruter that Im in tight with. He tells me "that is one of the stupidest ideas Ive ever heard you bring up. Why would you want to waste your time and have them brainwash you more into joining?" Mind you he was drafted into the Vietnam war...blablabla long story short got discharged due to back problems. Yes him of all people was telling me it was a stupid idea. I thought itd be rather interesting to see what they deal with but thats because Ive got it in tight with the recruters. Thats my little rant for a bit. Tell me what do you think I should do or how I should figure out this shaddowing bullshit.
Have a good one folks stay strong.. yes ARMY STRONG HOOAH

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February 21, 2008

Hmm well hello!! Im kenzie. Im not sure how I found this page but I did. Ive come to a fond liking of it. Both my best friends are in the Army. One is more than a best friend but I wont get into that. He is over seas and I miss him like crazy. Its not easy having him gone and I wont get to see him until hes home again. He left 6 days before my 18th bday I never thought the day would come when he would leave for so long. Infantry is the way to be baby.

The other one has yet to leave for over seas thank god. But it still sucks having both in because I never get to see either due to distance and Uncle Sam.

If you want you can add me. I dont care. Im pretty easy going and fun loving.
<3

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